Friday, September 11, 2009
There have been many memorable moments since bringing home Cody, and figuring out how to be a family of four. Today held one of these moments. Cody has been extremely fussy this past week; we've been experiencing some struggles with him, and haven't had much success in fixing the problems. I started the day off with a horrible night's sleep and was therefore very very tired (more so than the last 8 weeks of sleep deprivation). Cody was fussy all morning and nothing I did stopped him from crying. Nate, as a typical 2 yr old, followed me around asking question after question, and constantly seeked my attention. By the time we finished lunch, the tears I had been holding in all morning couldn't be held in any longer, and Cody and I both just sobbed on the couch. Nate, being the sweetheart that he is, decided to bring me a glass of water I had just poured in the kitchen, to lift my spirits. The glass was totally full, and so water splashed all over the sides of the glass onto the carpet. Nate stopped after realizing he had spilled all my water, looked at me and burst into tears. He put down the glass and I coaxed him over to the couch to console him, since he was clearly upset that his attempt to cheer me up instead created a big mess. So all three of us sat on the couch and had a good cry. And then we were able to get up and move on with our day! Crying with my kids for no specific reason was certainly a low point, and one that made me feel like a failure as a mother. But I also know how much I love my boys and that sometimes life overwhelms you and the only thing you can do is react. I don't want to make a habit of breaking down in front of my kids, but maybe an occasional cry won't do any permanent emotional damage?! This memory will stick with me, I'm sure, as one day I'll look back on the disaster days we had and somehow still survived!